Coming Back to the Light
by raine1234
Summary: Hermione goes through depression when her mother's body is found tortured. Who will help her get back to the light?
1. Prologue

Hermione hung her head low and she walked onto Platform Nine and Three- Quarters. People talked excitedly around her, but she didn't feel excited. Not at all. Her mother had disappeared a few weeks ago. A week later, her body was found mangled and tortured three cities away. Hermione hadn't spoken to her father or owled her friends since.  
She got on the train, looking for a secluded and empty compartment. It didn't take her long to find one; it was still early, twenty to eleven. Her father had dropped her off and kissed her goodbye, and nothing was said between them. Usual "goodbyes" were what took up the extra time. Hermione simply walked away, into the station.  
Hermione put her trunk away and shut the compartment door and locked it. She sat on the seat, pulled her legs up to her chest, wrapped her arms around them, and cried. 


	2. Chapter One: Mettlecase Mirkmonster

Various people knocked on her compartment door. Every time she answered, "I'm getting dressed." She just hoped the same person didn't come twice.  
Finally, when the door-bangings stopped and the train was moving, Hermione unlocked her compartment door. She wanted the food-cart to come by. She was starving. Her father never made the meals, her mother had before she was killed. Hermione fended for herself when it came to cooking. But, she wasn't very good, so she hadn't had any breakfast at all. It was eleven-thirty.  
She dug into her pants pocket and pulled out her pocketknife. She opened it. Hermione traced the blade along her arm.  
No, Hermione, not out in the open, she thought to herself.  
She snapped the pocketknife back shut and slipped it back into her pocket.  
  
The food-cart did come by not long after that. Hermione bought plenty of Chocolate Frogs. As she ate them up, she remembered what good chocolate her mother used to make from scratch. At the thought, she chucked the rest of them across the room. She jumped out of her seat and tore the pocketknife back out of her pocket. Hermione opened it, and held it to the skin of her left arm. She pressed down on the skin, and felt it penetrate. Warm, red blood flowed across her skin. She cut over the many other scars there were on her arm. She wished this cut. maybe it would take her. take her to her mother.  
She heard the squeaking of the compartment door. Damn, she'd forgotten to lock it again. She closed the knife and put it back in her pocket. Her cut arm dropped to her side. The blood wiped onto her shirt. There was no way to cover this one up. She looked to the doorway. God, her day was just improving by the second. It was Draco Malfoy.  
"What the hell is that?" he asked, pointing to her bloodstained shirt.  
"Nothing, Malfoy," Hermione hissed. "Now get the fuck out of my compartment before I make your balls into pancakes."  
Totally ignoring her, he let himself into the compartment, closing the door behind him. He walked toward her, and grabbed her left arm. He lifted it by the wrist.  
"Holy fuck, Granger," he said. "What the hell-?"  
"Get out Malfoy!" She pulled her arm from his grasp. He looked up at her, mouth open in surprise.  
"What the hell are you doing to yourself, you stupid Mudblood?"  
With her good arm, Hermione grabbed Malfoy around the neck. "Don't you dare tell anyone about what you saw Malfoy, or there will be hell to pay! I'm serious about turning your balls into pancakes."  
Malfoy pulled away from her. Without a word, he opened the compartment door, walked out, and closed it again. Hermione rushed up and locked it before anyone else could intrude.  
  
Harry was sitting across from Ron, Luna by his side, and Ginny next to Ron.  
"I haven't seen Hermione at all, Ron!" Harry exclaimed. "What if she isn't even coming to school this year?"  
"Hermione?" asked Ron. "Not at school? I doubt it."  
"Ron!" exclaimed Ginny. "You know what happened to her mum! It wouldn't surprise me one bit if she was allowed to skip the school year."  
"Maybe she was captured by a Mettlecase Mirkmonster," suggested Luna. "My father says they are being breeded in a city near where Hermione lives."  
Ron rolled his eyes and shook his head. "I guarantee no one is breeding Mettlecase Mirkmonsters near Hermione's house."  
"Dad's got some very reliable sources," said Luna.  
Just then, there was a knock on the compartment door. Harry stood and opened it. His most dear, favorite person in the world was standing there: Draco Malfoy.  
"What the hell do you want, Malfoy?" Harry asked.  
"You might wanna go check up on your Mudblood friend," Malfoy said. "Compartment Thirteen."  
He turned and left, without a single snide comment, other than the "Mudblood" thing. Harry turned to Ron, Ginny, and Luna.  
"What are we waiting for?" asked Ron, throwing his hands into the air.  
The three jumped up behind Harry and they left their compartment in search of Hermione's. After damn near fifteen minutes, they found Hermione's compartment. They knocked.  
"Go away," a voice, knowingly Hermione's, came from inside.  
"Hermione, it's us," said Harry. "Harry, Ron, Ginny, and Luna."  
No answer.  
"If you don't open the door, we'll come in anyway."  
The door slid open. Hermione looked terrible. There were extremely dark bags under her eyes. Her eyes themselves were bloodshot horribly. But, the first thing Harry noticed was the bloodstain on her shirt. He grabbed her arm and turned it up. There were scars all over it, and one looked good and fresh.  
"What the hell, Hermione?" he asked.  
Luna pushed forward to look and grinned. "Looks like a Mettlecase Mirkmonster to me. Wait till I tell Dad."  
"Luna," Ron said, putting a hand on her shoulder. She looked up at him. "I don't think you should tell anyone about this." 


	3. Chapter Two: Uphill, and Down

Xamphia~ Hey thanks for the great reviews! Yeah, I made up Mettlecase Mirkmonster. It was fun trying to think of a weird name!  
  
Draco hovered in the doorway of another compartment, watching them. Potter looked at Granger's arm, and so did that Looney Lovehart girl. He couldn't hear what they were saying, but then he heard Weasel.  
".not going to tell anyone about this," he said.  
No, damn it, Draco thought. Tell a teacher.  
He turned back into his compartment. He was alone, thank God, those two huge bafoons weren't with him. He slammed the door shut and locked it.  
"Stupid fucking Mudblood!" he exclaimed. "What the hell is she thinking cutting herself!?"  
  
"Hermione, what are you thinking?" asked Ron. "That's a cruel thing to do to yourself."  
Hermione shook her head. "No, Ron. I deserve it."  
"What the hell do you mean you deserve it?" asked Harry.  
Hermione shook her head again. She knew they would never understand. "Please go away now."  
"No," said Ginny. "We're not leaving you to kill yourself."  
"I'm not trying to kill myself!" Hermione yelled. She jumped up out of her seat. She thanked God for the Silencing Charm she'd put on the compartment.  
"You could've fooled me," said Harry.  
Then, the train stopped. Damn, they had forgotten all about their robes. Hermione's four so-called "friends" rushed out of the compartment, leaving Hermione again alone. She threw her robes on, grabbed her trunk, and rushed out of her compartment, where the others were filing out.  
  
Hermione sat alone at the far back end of the Gryffindor table. Harry, Ron, and Ginny kept looking back at her, as if to see if she hadn't dropped dead on the floor yet. She paid no attention to the Sorting. She barely ate during dinner. She just wanted it to end, and wanted to be in the solitude of her slumber.  
She followed the prefects up to the Gryffindor Common Room. Hermione had owled Professor Dumbledore and declined another year as a prefect. Dumbledore didn't ask any questions, just acknowledged her request and gave the job to someone else. Not that he needed to ask questions. He probably knew the whole story by now.  
Hermione went straight up to her dorm without speaking to anyone. She started to unpack all her things. No one came up to the dorm for a while. Most people were downstairs, finding out what happened to each of them over break. When she had put her pajamas on, and was about to go into the bathroom to wash up, Harry and Ron burst in.  
"Hermione, damn it, you're going to listen to us," said Ron in a stone-hard voice.  
"I could be naked, you know," said Hermione, looking at their feet instead of their faces. "I just barely finished changing."  
Harry and Ron rushed up to her, grabbed her by the arms, and sat her on the bed. They sat on either side of her. Hermione didn't look at either of them, just stared at her own bare feet.  
"Hermes," said Ron in a softer voice than before, "we want to help you. You can't do this to yourself. Tell us what we can do to help you."  
Hermione spoke in a whisper, still not daring to look at them. "Can you take me to my mum again?" Tears started to fall silently to the floor, around her feet.  
"Is that what this is about, Hermione?" asked Harry. "Going to your mum?"  
"Something like that."  
"We can't give you your mum, Hermione," said Ron. "But we can listen to you. Tell us what you're thinking, Hermes. We can help you sort things out."  
Hermione wiped her tears, only to clear a path for more to fall. She finally had the courage to look them each in the face.  
"You guys are the best friends I could ever ask for," she choked out.  
Both Ron and Harry hugged her tightly. They let go and looked over her.  
"You don't look like you've slept in weeks," said Harry.  
"No, I've slept quite well. Better than usual," said Hermione. "The best part of my day is when I don't have to deal with the real world."  
"The real world may cause the problems, Hermione," said Ron, "but it's also the only thing that can fix them."  
Hermione smiled. "Who'd you steal that one from, Ron?"  
"I'm hurt!" said Ron, smacking his right hand to his chest, where his heart was. "Really, I made it up myself."  
"Good one. Props to you for that one."  
  
Four weeks later, everything had improved for Hermione. She could talk to her friends freer, and hadn't cut herself in three weeks. She was getting color back into her skin, and the bags under her eyes disappeared. Everything was going great. She was back to the same old Hermione.  
On a Saturday, she was dressed in baggy jeans and a tee shirt of her favorite Muggle band, Incubus. She had started to be more tomboyish over the summer, before what happened to her mother. She was laughing along with Harry and Ron when Pansy Parkinson came by. The three looked up at her, who was accompanied by Millicent Bulstrode, Crabbe, and Goyle. She made a disgusting look.  
"What the hell are you wearing?" she asked Hermione.  
"Jeans and a tee shirt," Hermione replied cooly. "Is that a problem?"  
Pansy rolled her eyes. "Your mother hasn't been dead so long as for you to forget how to dress like a girl."  
Hermione's mouth popped open in surprise. Harry and Ron were on their feet, screaming at Pansy while Pansy, Crabbe, Goyle, and Millicent screamed retorts back. All Hermione remembered after that second was running away to her dorm, grabbing some stuff she'd need to sleep in, and then finding herself in the Astronomy Tower, alone. 


	4. Chapter Three: Ignorance

A/N: Sorry for taking so long guys! I was on vacation, and I'm going again tomorrow so bear with me!  
  
Xamphia~ Love the reviews, but you're gonna have to find out for yourself what happens!!!! LoL, I love Incubus too!  
  
Becca~ Thanks for the review!  
  
3.  
  
The peacefulness of the Astronomy tower made Hermione's mind go back to ease. She could think clearly, with the soft moonlight and the twinkling stars. Everything wrong thing could be wrongly thought of as right.  
She cuddled up in her sweatshirt and pajama pants. She sat on her sleeping bag and wrapped her arms around her knees. She leaned her chin onto her kneecaps. The moon was full and made the telescopes cast odd- shaped shadows on the floor. She shifted to the right and felt something hard in her pocket. She reached into her pocket and pulled out the pocketknife.  
Hermione turned the pocketknife over in her hands a few times. Holding it tightly in her grasp, she stood and walked to the edge of the tower.  
  
Draco was quietly standing in the doorway. He watched Hermione's every move. When she walked to the edge of the tower with the knife in her hand, he could swear she was going to jump.  
  
Hermione was seriously contemplating jumping. But then, she thought of Harry. And Ron, Ginny, and Luna. They had spent quality studying time helping her with her problems. She also thought of her mother. Hermione was supposed to go with her mom the day she disappeared. She was just going to the mall a city over. Hermione was supposed to go. But, she backed out because she wanted to see a movie with her friends. She should have been with her mother. She could have saved her, damn it!  
Tears fell down her face again, and she inhaled sharp, quick breaths. It was her fault her mother was buried in some unknown cemetery. But, then again, she didn't want it to be her fault her friends' grades had dropped, and for nothing. She couldn't let them down. They really believed she could get through this, and through them, she believed so too.  
Instead of getting any nearer to the edge, she pulled her arm back, and then threw the pocketknife as far as she could.  
  
Draco nearly sighed when she threw the knife. But, he held it in. He had seen everything that happened in the Great Hall with Pansy. He had followed her, wanting to make sure she wouldn't do anything to herself. He felt the duty was done, and headed back to his own common room.  
  
Hermione went back to her sleeping bag, wrapped herself up, and was asleep almost as soon as she hit the pillow. But, it seemed only minutes before she was awoken.  
"Miss Granger!"  
Hermione's eyes popped open. Her least favorite Potions professor, Snape, was hovering above her. His eyes were squinted in anger and his greasy hair was hanging all around his face.  
"It's five a.m., you stupid girl," he said. "What in the world are you doing in this tower?"  
"Fell asleep with Astronomy Homework," Hermione said quickly, trying to stay out of any punishment Snape had planned for her.  
"Nice try, Miss Granger, but I know for a fact there is no Astronomy Homework due. Detention with me in the dungeons, nine tonight. Get back to the Gryffindor Common Room this instant, Miss Granger, or it'll be a week of detentions."  
"Yes, sir," she replied.  
Snape slithered out of the tower and down the stairs. Quickly and quietly, eye half-closed because she was tired, she packed up all her belongings and left the tower.  
  
"Did you hear about the Mudblood Golden Girl?"  
Draco whipped around to Pansy in surprise. He tried to cover up the look of surprise and worry on his face with a look of anger and dislike. Oh, God, she did jump after all. He should have stayed longer. He could have stopped-  
"She got detention with Snape," finished Pansy. "She was caught sleeping in the Astronomy Tower."  
Draco nearly sighed with relief. But, he held it in. He had been putting this show on with his Slytherin friends since the train ride to school.  
"What was Granger doing in the Astronomy Tower?" Draco asked as if he didn't know.  
Pansy shrugged. "No one knows."  
"Oh, and did you hear that the big oaf Hagrid's dog got stabbed?" asked Millicent.  
"Ha!" said Pansy. "Serves him right. Did it die?"  
"No. No one knows how it happened, either. Right on the top of it's back. Like it feel from the sky."  
Draco laughed to himself. Ignorance really was bliss.  
  
A/N: Sorry this was a shorter one, guys. I'm not going to be back for a few days so when I am I'll update, okay? 


	5. Chapter Four: Hell

A/N: sorry I'm such a short-chapter-writer. I've always written like that, but I'm trying to make them longer.  
  
Xamphia, sweetie, sadistic-freak, and Becca, thanks for reviewing! I love the great feedback  
  
4.  
  
The rest of the day was uneventful. Hermione couldn't sleep at all after she returned to her room. At breakfast, she almost fell asleep on her plate. Harry, Ron, Luna, and Ginny were all worried about her.  
"Hermione, are you okay?" asked Ron. "You look like crap again."  
"Thanks a lot, Ron," said Hermione.  
"No, really," said Ron. "You didn't-"  
"No I didn't, I promise. I didn't sleep well," she said simply.  
"Well, I wouldn't either with Pansy saying shit like she did at dinner," said Harry.  
"Harry, please," said Hermione, "just drop it."  
Harry shrugged and returned to his food.  
"Well Luna and I should get going," said Ginny, standing up. "We have History of Magic with the Slytherins this morning."  
"Oh, harsh," said Harry.  
"Not really," said Luna. "They're ally too bored to talk to us. It's the only class with the Slytherins that's like that."  
Luna and Ginny left the Great Hall. Harry and Ron started to gather their things as well.  
"Come on, Hermione," said Ron. "Double Potions with the Slytherins as well. Snape will kill us if we're late."  
"Right," said Hermione.  
She lazily grabbed her books and followed Ron and Harry out of the Great Hall. They went down to the dungeons and took seats next to each other. Snape wasn't there yet, and other students were filing in behind them. Pansy, Millicent, Crabbe, and Goyle walked in with Malfoy. They were laughing about something. Pansy turned her attention back to Hermione.  
"What were you doing in the Astronomy Tower, Granger?" she asked.  
"Don't you dare say anything, Parkinson," said Ron. "Trying to see you poor mommy up in the sky?" Pansy asked.  
Harry yelled, "Pansy you're gonna-"  
"But she's not up in the sky!" exclaimed Millicent. "She's down in hell with the rest of the Muggles!"  
Harry and Ron leapt up and made their way toward them, screaming at the top of their lungs. Hermione tried as hard as possible not to think about what she just said. She put her head in her hands and tried to think of something else. But she couldn't.  
I should have jumped, was all she could think. I wouldn't have to deal with Pansy, Millicent, and Malfoy anymore.  
Just then, Snape walked into class. Harry, Ron, Millicent, Pansy, Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle were still screaming, but Hermione heard people slamming around as well.  
"Malfoy!" yelled Snape. That was the only name he yelled.  
Hermione turned to see Harry and Ron each with broken noses, and the five Slytherins without scratches on them. Malfoy was shaking his fist as if to make pain go away.  
"Detention with me tonight, Malfoy," said Snape. "You can join Granger."  
Hermione rolled her eyes. The last thing she needed was to spend an entire detention with Malfoy. The rest of class was boring as ever. Ron and Harry kept having to wipe their bloody noses on their sleeves because Snape wouldn't let them go to the Hospital Wing. Malfoy wasn't using his right hand, which he used to punch Ron and Harry, and Hermione suspected a finger or two to be broken. Pansy and Millicent kept whispering rude comments to Hermione, which Snape ignored even though the whole class could hear them.  
"Mudbloods go to hell too, Granger, so don't worry about never seeing your dead mum."  
"It was probably Voldemort, so don't worry, you and your dad are next."  
As the comments continued, Hermione tried to shield her face from the Slytherins, who sniggered at them. Tears popped out of her eyes. Harry and Ron began to throw her apprehensive glances. Even Snape saw the tears coming form her eyes, and he didn't bother to say anything.  
  
Granger had put her hand up to shield her face from them. But Draco could see the tears dripping onto the table. He should have made Pansy and Millicent stop, because it could make Granger resort to something. worse. But he couldn't. There was too much at stake, even with his father in Azkaban.  
  
After class, Hermione walked silently to Transfiguration. Harry and Ron ran up to the Hospital Wing, leaving her to go alone. She was already late. She didn't care. None of it mattered anyway. Why make a life when you'll just die sometime anyway? There was no purpose-  
"Granger."  
Hermione turned around. Malfoy was there, and she sighed. Just take whatever he says and then go to class, she thought. He stared down at his feet.  
"I'm sorry about them," he said.  
She looked up at him. "What?"  
"It's totally cruel what they're doing to you, and I'm sorry."  
With that, Draco turned and walked away. Hermione decided she'd talk to him again in detention that night.  
  
A/N: okay, now I really won't be updating for a while! It'll be a few days, but please review! I love the feedback!! 


	6. Chapter Five: Life

Hermione spent the rest of the day dreading her detention with Malfoy. Harry and Ron tried to pass her encouraging words, but nothing helped the fact that she would be spending her night with the person she hated the most, and one of the few people who knew about what she had been doing to herself.  
After dinner, Hermione sat in the Common Room, studying. She was antsy because of detention. At ten minutes to nine, she left the Common Room and started toward the dungeons. The hallways were only illuminated by a few torches. The darkness reminded her of how dark her life seemed to be all the time these days. There was no light in her life anymore. Walking through the dark by herself made her a little jumpy. She quickened her pace until she reached the dungeons.  
Opening the door to the Potions classroom, she saw the Malfoy was already there, as was Professor Snape. There were at least a hundred cauldrons sitting on the desks. She walked up to them and took a seat next to Malfoy. Snape cleared his throat.  
"I have saved every cauldron used today for you two to clean," he said as is he had done them a favor. "There is about 120. You may not use magic, only the buckets of water and sponges on the floor. Have fun, and come get me when you finish."  
He took both of their wands. Snape turned on his heel and his greasy, black hair swung around with him. He walked into his office, and shut the door behind him. Hermione stood up, went over to the bucket of water, and soaked a sponge. Then, she picked a cauldron, and started to scrub down the inside. Malfoy followed suit, and started to scrub the cauldron next to her. They worked in silence. After finishing about thirty cauldrons, Hermione went to wet her sponge again and slipped. She landed on her side with an "Ah!"  
  
When she slipped, Draco dropped his sponge in the cauldron he was working on. He rushed to her side, grabbed her arm, and helped her up. She brushed herself off and looked up at him. Her chocolate eyes locked onto his, and he was caught in the stare. It made his heart sink inside at how her once bright eyes seemed so lifeless and dark. There was no light in them.  
"Thank you," Granger said.  
"It's nothing," he replied, trying not to act kind.  
Granger shook her head. "No, not just for that. For, oh, I don't know, understanding how I was feeling. With Pansy and Millicent."  
Draco shrugged. "It was true, though. I wouldn't even make a remark about your mum like that."  
"Thanks anyway."  
  
Hermione returned to her scrubbing. They worked in silence once more. About an hour and a half later, they were halfway done with all of the cauldrons. Malfoy kept throwing her glances, as if to catch her eye. She saw him do so a few times out of the corner of her eye, but never let him have eye-contact with her because she didn't know why he was doing this.  
"Granger," he said.  
Hermione looked up at him. It was the same way he had said her name earlier that day, before Transfiguration.  
"You've been doing better, haven't you?" he asked.  
"What are you-?"  
"You know, what I saw on the train ride here," Malfoy continued. He gave a cautious glance to the door of Snape's office. Then, he looked back at her. "You haven't done that, have you?"  
"Oh," she said, understanding. She looked back down at her scrubbing. "No, it's been three weeks." Then, thinking about his question, she looked back up at him. "Why do you ask?"  
Malfoy smiled. Merlin, he smiled at Hermione Granger. "I've been watching you, ever since that day. I saw you in the Astronomy Tower last night."  
  
Granger's eyes widened in anger. "What all did you see? Did you tell-?"  
"I didn't tell anyone," Draco said, shaking his head. "I swear."  
Granger dropped her eyes from his, acting again submissive and vulnerable. "How long did you watch me?"  
"The whole time, ever since you had left the Great Hall. I followed you." He put a finger underneath Granger's chin and lifted her face back up. "And I had to keep myself from screaming with joy when you didn't do anything to yourself."  
Granger pulled away from Draco's hand.  
"Why do you all of a sudden care what's going on with me?" she asked. "You hate me, Draco Malfoy. I'm just a terrible, stinking, stupid Mudblood!"  
Draco's mouth fell open and he shook his head fiercely. "No, Granger, I never hated you. I was competing with you. You were perfect. You were what I was expected to be. I never, ever hated you."  
"So you think after five years of constant torment and torture that I would accept you with open arms when you try to help me through this?!?!" she exclaimed. Tears started to form in her eyes.  
"No, Granger, I never-"  
"Stop toying with my emotions, Malfoy! Don't you ever think you can help me again. You can't, my friends can't, no one can!"  
"Just let me-"  
"You know what my favorite saying is, Malfoy?" Granger asked calmly, cutting him off again.  
Draco shook his head, hurt and confused.  
"'People are born to die,'" she said. "It's true. What's the point of living when you'll just die and be forgotten anyway?"  
She had gotten to him. He exploded. "Damn it, Granger, that's not true!"  
Granger raised an eyebrow at him. "Oh, really?"  
Draco stepped closer to her, and she did not back away. "You are the smartest girl I know. You can do great things, and they will never be forgotten. Someday you're going to do something that will change everyone's world."  
"Finished?" she asked coldly.  
Draco nodded.  
Granger leaned her face up closer to his. "Don't attempt to help me again. Don't ever talk to me. And don't you dare tell me about myself. There's no point to the world we live in. We all are born to die, and someday you'll realize that."  
  
Hermione scrubbed the rest of the cauldrons with some new, unknown speed. When they were all finished, she and Malfoy reported back to Snape, got their wands back, and Hermione left in a hurry. She ran back into the hallway, dark, like her life had become.  
  
A/N: thanks for all of you who have been reviewing! I'm not going to name you specifically, but you know who you are. Sorry it's been so long, I was on vacation. Hahaha, not what you expected out of this scene, eh? You were probably hoping for some "action", but that might come later in the story. -winks- 


	7. Chapter Six: Ink

I can't see that thief that lives inside of your head.  
  
But I can be some courage at the side of your bed.  
  
I don't know what's happening and I can't pretend  
  
But I can be your... -Our Lady Peace, "Theif"  
  
Draco laid in his bed that same night, unable to sleep or do anything but think about Hermione Granger. As he had followed her, and watched her every move over the past few weeks, he had started to fall for her, and he knew that. Draco also knew he shouldn't, and couldn't. If he got involved with her, everything would become ten times as complicated. Granger would become number one on Voldemort's killing list. Draco would probably become number two. Then there was his family, his schoolmates. Merlin, he'd be giving her his life in a silver platter. But, at the same time, Granger would be giving him his.  
Of course, now Granger wouldn't talk to Draco. It nearly broke his heart to hear her speak so harshly to him. And he had the terrible feeling that everything said tonight would just help her hurt herself more. He considered stopping watching her, but there was no way he could. Not now, when he thought that there was a better chance for her to hurt herself. He just prayed that she wouldn't.  
Draco fell into a peaceful, dreamless sleep.  
  
"Where the hell is it?!" Hermione yelled.  
Everyone else was down at breakfast. Hermione was ripping through all her belongings from her trunk. Half of her trunk was now empty, with its contents scattered all over the floor.  
"There's got to be another one in here!" she yelled to the empty room.  
Hermione kept throwing the items on the floor, not finding what she wanted. Finally, a completely empty trunk was sitting in front of her. She picked up a quill and threw it across the room in anger. She flopped down on her bed with tears coming to her eyes. Looking at her watch, class had already started by fifteen minutes. She began to sob, for the need to punish herself, the need to feel alive, and the need to see her mum. She curled up in a ball on her bed, but then sat straight back up with an idea.  
She could use the sharp quill.  
  
'Where is she?' Draco thought to himself as he scanned the Great Hall.  
Granger wasn't anywhere in sight. That worried him. What if she was in the Hospital Wing after doing something to herself last night? Merlin, what had he done? How could he have pushed her over to edge like that? He had History of Magic with the Gryffindors this morning, and he knew she'd never miss a class, so he'd see her there.  
He walked into class early, hoping she'd be sitting at a desk with parchment and quill, ready to start the day, but she wasn't. She still wasn't there when Professor Binns started class. And she still wasn't there fifteen minutes into class. Trying to get information from Potter and Weasley, he listened in on their conversation.  
"Where is Hermione?" Weasley asked in a whisper.  
"Lavender said Hermione said she wasn't feeling well," Potter whispered back.  
"You don't think that means-?"  
"No. It's been weeks. She's better now."  
'How thick can you be?' Draco thought to himself.  
After class, Draco rushed in the direction of the Gryffindor Tower. As prefect, he knew every password to every house. He was out of breath by the time he reached the Fat Lady. She eyed him quizzically.  
"Can I help you, Mister Malfoy?" she asked.  
"F-F-Firebolt," he gasped.  
The Fat Lady shrugged and then opened to let him inside. He ran through their warm Common Room, and toward the girls' dormitories. He found the one that said "6th Years". Taking a deep breath, he swung the door open, and he gasped at what he saw.  
  
Granger laid in a ball on the floor, with blood seeping from a cut in her left arm, and a quill in her right hand. Next to her was a bottle of ink. Ink!!  
"Damn it, she'll get ink poisoning!" Draco yelled, and rushed to her side.  
He felt her pulse, and it was very slow and faint. She was very pale, with dark bags under her eyes, and her lips were turning purple. She was cold. Draco's heart was pounding. Granger could die at any minute, and it would be his fault. He picked her up, and starting running toward the Hospital Wing.  
  
Draco barged into the Hospital Wing where Madam Pomfrey was attending to someone else.  
"Madam Pomfrey!" he yelled. "Granger's hurt!"  
Madam Pomfrey jumped up and ran to his side.  
"Here, put her here," she said motioning toward a bed.  
Draco placed her gently on the bed and backed away. The sight of her like this made him want to cry. Madam Pomfrey checked her out, and looked intently at the arm that was cut, and had all the other scars on it.  
"Mister Malfoy?" she asked. "Do you know anything about this?"  
Staring at Granger, with tears really coming to his eyes that he tried to hold back, he shook his head. He had to pretend like he just randomly found her. He couldn't let anyone know about what he'd been doing.  
"Professor Dumbledore needs to see this," Madam Pomfrey said when she was done cleaning Granger's wound.  
She walked out of the Hospital Wing, leaving Draco and Granger alone. Draco walked to Granger's side and put his hand on her right hand, the one that had done her damage. She was still cold, but he could tell Madam Pomfrey had done well, because she was warming up. Tears flowed down his face that no one else could see.  
"Granger," he whispered. "Hermione."  
She didn't move.  
"Hermione, I'm sorry," he continued. "For everything. The professors will know, but I couldn't leave you to die. You were wrong when you said you would be forgotten if you died. I would never forget you if you had died tonight. I would never forget."  
  
~  
  
A/N: What do you think? Is Draco a little bit too sensitive or do you like that? Well, thanks to these people who reviewed:  
  
Xamphia Becca10 SaDiStIc-FrEaK1 Sweetie2 aVrl b metropolitanrubbish Hotdevelettefire 


	8. Chapter Seven: Sadly Alive

7.  
  
Her eyes wouldn't open. She was still tired, but she was awake, and her eyes wouldn't open, they were so heavy. She had had the craziest dream. It was that dumbass Malfoy again. He said something to her... something that Hermione couldn't remember. She had enjoyed it, though. His words had been comforting.  
'Ha! A Malfoy's words? Comforting?' she thought. 'Sounds like a bad joke.'  
She moaned and attempted to open her eyes. They opened a little, and she got a feeling of her surroundings. It was white, just as she had imagined and hoped. She looked around her, trying to find a sign of her mother. But, no, there were more beds. And white curtains. And Draco Malfoy was sitting in a chair near her!  
Hermione shook her head. 'No, I'm supposed to be dead! I'm supposed to be seeing my mum right now. I'm in the damn Hospital Wing!'  
Malfoy looked up at her. "Hermione!"  
Hermione slammed her fist on her bed. "Get the hell out of here Draco Malfoy!"  
Malfoy shook his head. "But, Hermione-"  
"I said get out! I never want to see your face again!"  
Nodding a little, Malfoy stood up and exited the Hospital Wing. Hermione slammed her head back onto the pillow. She was supposed to be in heaven with her mother, but someone found her. Someone saved her life, damn it! Whoever did it was in for a sure beating when she left the Hospital Wing. She shook her head in anger fiercely. Just then, Dumbledore and Madam Pomfrey came in. Dumbledore smiled.  
"It's thankful you are well," he said calmly. "We were all very worried."  
"Who brought me here?" Hermione asked, trying to sound thankful rather than outraged.  
"You have Mister Malfoy to thank for that," said Madam Pomfrey. "He was nearly crying when he brought you here."  
Hermione looked down the bed to her feet and didn't respond.  
"Miss Granger," said Dumbledore.  
Hermione looked up at him timidly.  
"I would very much like to know why you have done this to yourself," he asked.  
'Damn, he knows. And it's all Malfoy's fault,' thought Hermione.  
"I haven't done anything," she replied, looking back down at her feet.  
"Then how do you explain the scars on your arm?" asked Dumbledore.  
In her head, Hermione thought, 'Just mind your own damn business, old man!'  
But she said, "I'm clumsy. I feel asleep studying and accidentally cut myself with my quill."  
Dumbledore raised an eyebrow over his half-moon glasses. "Ah, I see."  
  
Hermione knew he didn't buy it. There was no lying to Dumbledore. But he didn't ask any questions. He excused himself and Madam Pomfrey gave her one last check-over. Madam Pomfrey said she was free to go, and it was Saturday. She had an entire day to kill Malfoy for what he had done.  
  
When Hermione had told Draco to leave, he went straight down to his Common Room. He let himself into his own private room and laid down in the king- size, fluffy bed. He closed his eyes and tried to think of Quidditch, or teasing Potty and Weasel, but his mind always drifted back to Her. The girl that he loved, but could not hold. There were so many reasons he shouldn't and couldn't love her, but he did.  
Thinking about the girl he could never have, he cried.  
  
Hermione spent the entire day searching for him. He wasn't at any meals. He wasn't in the Library. He wasn't by the Lake. He wasn't at the Quidditch Pitch. He was nowhere to be found. But she had to find him.  
The last thing she could think of was his Common Room. She knew where it was from being a prefect last year, but she had no idea what the password was. She walked up to the portrait of a scary-looking knight.  
"Thee is not of pure blood, what does thee want?" asked the portrait.  
"Let me in, damn it, or I'll shred you to pieces," said Hermione through her teeth. She pulled out her wand threateningly.  
"Alright, thee can come in. Thee has the heart of a Slytherin."  
The portrait swung open, and a few Slytherins looked at her with question and surprise.  
"Malfoy," she said, "where is he?"  
Without question, the Slytherins pointed to a door on the far side of the Common Room. Hermione rushed to the door and shoved it open. Malfoy was laying on his bed. Hermione slammed the door behind her. Malfoy jumped off his bed in surprise. Hermione rushed up to him and slapped him hard across the face. Malfoy put his hand where she slapped him and a red mark had already begun to appear.  
"Damn you, Malfoy!" she screamed. "I told you never to help me again, did you not think I was serious!!??"  
"Hermione, please, listen-"  
"No! I told you never to help me, and now all the professors know and I'm still standing! All because of you!"  
"You're not listen-"  
"I was so..." she started. Tears started to flow down her cheeks. She spoke softer. "I was so fucking close. I was so close, and you took it away from me."  
  
All of a sudden, she collapsed on the floor. Draco could only watch as she curled up into a ball, bringing her knees up to her chest and wrapping her arms around them. She sobbed silently with her eyes closed. Draco kneeled down in front of her.  
"Hermione," he said softly.  
She opened her eyes and looked up at him.  
Draco wondered what he had wanted to say to her. He tried to think of something. "Your friends would never forget you."  
'No, I. I would never forget you,' he thought to himself.  
Hermione closed her eyes again. "Of course they would. They didn't look for me up in my room yesterday, you did."  
She stood up and looked him in the face. She lightly touched his cheek where she had slapped him. It stung, but it felt more like electricity flowing through her hand and into him. His heart leapt. He pulled away from her because of the stinging. Hermione sighed and looked down at her feet.  
"I'm sorry," she said. "You were only trying to do something nice." Then she looked back up at him. "Please, don't try to help me anymore. I really mean it this time. Don't follow me around. Live your own life. I don't need anyone to watch over me. Just be the normal Draco Malfoy that would have loved to see me like this."  
Shocked, Draco watched her leave. When she closed the door, he said to himself, "I am the normal Draco Malfoy, and I hate to see you like this."  
  
~  
  
A/N: Hey guys! I'm really enjoying writing this story and I'm glad you all are liking it!! Well thanks to these people who reviewed:  
  
MovieStarMissy  
  
Chach-A-Lot  
  
Xamphia  
  
*There were lots of others but those were for the chapter before this one! 


	9. Chapter Eight: Broken

8.  
  
Is she ultra-violent? Is she disturbed? I better tell her that I love her  
  
Before she does it all over again  
  
Oh, God, she's killing me!!! For now I'll lie around hell, that's all I can really do. -Greenday, "Pulling Teeth"  
  
Draco really did stop watching Hermione. He didn't watch over her, but he sure couldn't stop thinking about her. She was on his mind all the time, and nothing he did seemed to make her go away. He dreamt about her at night and daydreamed about her all day. But, he did watch from afar while he saw her deteriorating again.  
She came to meals everyday looking worse than ever. Hermione had become extremely pale and her hair was now stringy and uncared-for. Her eyes had lost their light altogether. Draco found himself always staring at her in Potions, sadly. He watched her from afar, but never followed her or attempted to help her in any way, just as she had asked.  
  
It was two weeks and Malfoy hadn't followed her anywhere or tried to help her in any situation. She continued to cut herself, and she ignored Dumbledore's requests whenever he asked her to come to his office for a meeting. She knew what he would talk to her about, and she didn't want to hear it.  
She ignored all the things her friends told her. She ignored everyone. Hermione had no one anymore. Everyone was too afraid to talk to her, so no one did. She went to class, meals, and her Common Room alone. She almost liked it better that way. No one could tell her what to do like that bastard Malfoy did.  
One night, she was walking to her Common Room from dinner. She hadn't eaten anything, as usual. She had become very skinny, and had eaten barely anything the past two weeks. Her bony legs took her lightly, barely making any sound on the stone floor. Suddenly, Hermione heard quick footsteps somewhere in the hall. She whipped around, and saw no one. She was alone.  
But then, she felt a tug from behind and she was throw into an empty classroom onto the floor. Behind her, the door slammed shut. Hermione was too scared out of her mind to look behind her and see who her attacker was. But, the person grabbed her, pulled her up, and made her face him. It was Marcus Flint, captain of the Slytherin Quidditch team. He smiled, showing his terribly crooked teeth.  
"Don't be frightened, darling," he said. "Such a gorgeous girl that turned so vulnerable, how could I resist?"  
He licked her right cheek from her chin to her eye. Hermione gasped in disgust. Then, Flint pressed his lips against Hermione's, who tried to scream into his mouth. He pulled away and smiled eerily again.  
"Scream all you want, dear," he said. "Gets me off faster."  
He shoved her to the ground, and Hermione thought she felt something pop in her shoulder. Flint took off his robe while standing in front of her to reveal nothing underneath. His penis was already erect and throbbing, and Hermione thought she was going to be sick. He leaned down and ripped off her robe, but she had jeans and a tee shirt underneath. Hermione struggled, but Flint ripped her shirt off her. He smiled when he saw her c-cup breasts underneath her bra. Flint started to tug at her jeans, but Hermione tried to pull away and screamed.  
"I'll keep you from leaving," he said.  
He muttered a charm, and Hermione's arms became tied above her head to a desk. Flint finally got her jeans pulled off, then he went for her bra. He tore it off, breaking the clasp, and grinned evilly at her bare, hard breasts. By now, tears were flowing from Hermione's eyes. She gave another yell when she felt Flint's hands at her underwear. Her slipped those down her legs as well. Flint stood up above Hermione and smiled down at her. This sickened Hermione.  
Flint then kneeled down and climbed above her. His tongue lapped over her breasts hungrily. He slid his tongue all the way down her stomach and past her belly button to the top of her pubic hair. Then, he put his hands on her knees and spread her legs apart. Then, Hermione stopped watching. She felt him shove two fingers into her, and two others rubbed her clit. He pulled his fingers out, and Hermione could feel his tongue licking her, around her clit and inside of her. Even as much as she hated it, she moaned because it was her first time anyone ever gave her a blowjob. Flint pulled away.  
"That's what I like to hear," he said. "And it's just beginning."  
Flint moved back up her until his face was above hers. She felt him between her legs and whimpered. Then, he shoved himself in. Hermione screamed as loud as she could.  
  
As Draco was walking to the Library after dinner, Marcus Flint ran by him. He looked ragged and extremely giddy. Then, he heard something. It was coming from farther down the hallway. It sounded like crying, but he wasn't sure. Following the sound, Draco ran into an empty classroom.  
Well, almost empty.  
Hermione was laying on the floor, in a ball, naked.  
"Oh God," whispered Draco.  
Hermione's blood-shot eyes, filled with pain, locked onto his.  
"Draco," she choked, "help me. Please."  
  
~  
  
A/N: Please be nice, this was my first time ever with a rape scene! It's getting darker, and I'm not sure that you'll like it very much, but I'd been thinking about this scene for a long time. And, sorry that it's a short one. Thanks to everyone who reviewed!! 


	10. Chapter Nine: Seeing the Light

A/N: Once again, sorry about that last chapter it really sucked but I wanted her to get raped to make it more interesting. Sorry Xamphia! You're right, it's totally disgusting!! It was my first time writing a rape scene and I know it sucked but bear with me! The rest will be better!  
  
~  
  
9.  
  
Draco ran and picked up Hermione's robe and draped it over her. He pulled her up and she sat up. She looked like she'd been sobbing for some time. He wrapped the robe tightly around her. Hermione leaned into Draco's arms, which he wrapped around her.  
Hermione said, "Malfoy, God, he-"  
"I know, Hermione," he said comfortingly. "I know what Flint did. Please, call me Draco."  
Hermione pulled away from him and looked him in the eye. "Please don't tell anyone. It's so... so..."  
"Embarrassing?" Draco finished her sentence for her.  
Hermione nodded and looked down at the ground. Draco lifted her chin back up, and her eyes locked onto his again.  
"Don't do that, Hermione," he said. "Doing things like that got you into this situation."  
She nodded. "Will you take me to the Hospital Wing, please?"  
Draco smiled. "Of course."  
  
As they walked through the hall, Hermione put her hand on Malfoy's, no Draco's, arm at his elbow. She felt comfort there, actual comfort for the first time since before school started. He didn't pull away, so she didn't let go. In her other hand, Hermione carried her clothes. She was only wearing her robe.  
When they reached the door to the Hospital Wing, Hermione dropped her arm away from Draco and turned to him.  
"Don't come in with me," she said. "You understand."  
Draco nodded understandingly. "I know."  
"What's tomorrow?"  
"Sunday."  
"Draco, I think it took a horrific night like tonight to realize that I really need help. Will you meet me in the Library after breakfast tomorrow?"  
He smiled. "I'd love to."  
Without another word, Hermione walked into the white Hospital Wing and called out for Madam Pomfrey.  
  
The next morning at breakfast, Draco was quiet and kept throwing anxious glances toward the door to the Great Hall. He nearly choked on his eggs when he saw Hermione walked into the Great Hall.  
She looked 110% better. She had color in her face and the bags under her eyes were gone (Draco thought this was probably makeup but at least she was making an effort). Her hair was done up. She was smiling, and there was a twinkle in her eye. When she sat down, she sat by Ron and Harry, like the good old days, and she actually ate a whole meal. Draco smiled to himself. He hadn't even done anything and she was back to normal.  
  
Hermione woke up the next morning feeling renewed. She laid in her bed, thinking about last night's occurrences. The thought of how Flint... broke her in such a way made a sick feeling come into her stomach. But, Draco had helped her, again. Maybe he was someone who cared. Would Draco Malfoy remember her if she died?  
Hermione jumped out of bed, got dressed, did her hair and makeup for the first time in weeks, and rushed from the Gryffindor Tower. Feeling more confident than ever, she ran through the halls and to the Great Hall. When she walked in, she was smiling for reasons she didn't even know. She rushed to the Gryffindor Table and sat across from Ron and next to Harry.  
"Hermione?" asked Ron.  
"Yeah, guys, it's me," she said.  
"You look better than you have all school year," said Harry, eyeing her.  
"Thanks, I think. Can you pass the eggs, Ron?"  
Ron handed them to her. "Why are you normal all of a sudden?"  
Hermione shrugged. "The bacon, Harry?"  
Harry gave it to her. "You haven't spoken to us in weeks."  
"I know," she said. "Neville, the sausage? And the biscuits while you're at it."  
They were both given to her by a dumbfounded Neville.  
"Hermione," said Ron.  
"Yes?" asked Hermione as she swallowed bites of her eggs, bacon, sausage, and biscuits.  
"That's more than you've eaten total in three weeks," he said.  
She shrugged it off. "Three weeks makes you pretty hungry."  
After that plate, she had two more.  
  
Draco sat at a table in the Library, waiting for Hermione. He was smiling to himself. Hermione had eaten about three platefuls of food. She was back to her old, gorgeous self. It was her eyes that made him happiest, though. They had light in them again. Not much, but they did. Her chocolate eyes were so-  
"Waiting long?"  
Draco jumped and turned around. Hermione was standing there. He could have almost gasped. If he had thought she looked 110% better from afar, she looked 210% better close up.  
Draco shook his head. "Only a couple minutes."  
"Good. I would feel bad if you had been."  
Hermione sat herself across from Draco. They sat in an awkward silence for a second. Draco didn't know how to begin.  
"Do you want to go for a walk?" he asked.  
Hermione smiled. Merlin, Draco loved that smile. "Sure."  
  
They walked down by the Lake. The cold breeze felt nice on Hermione's cheek, but it gave her the shivers. She wrapped her arm around Draco's to try and keep warm. It was nearly winter, and it was cold outside.  
"How old was your mum?" Draco asked her.  
She looked up at him. "Forty-two."  
"What did she look like?"  
Hermione sighed. "Hair like mine. But she had green eyes. I got my eyes from my dad."  
"Did you talk to your dad?"  
"No. I didn't talk to anyone after mum's body was found."  
"You should talk to him. He could help you even more than I could."  
"No, Draco. I don't think I can."  
"Why not?"  
"I... I think he hates me. I want to talk to him, I really do, but he doesn't talk to me. I think he blames me for what happened."  
"Why on earth would he blame you?"  
"I was supposed to be with her the day it happened. But, I went out with some Muggle friends of mine instead. I could have stopped it, and I think he blames me for not being with her and stopping it. And it is my fault. I could've kept her from dying."  
"Hermione, do you even think about what could have happened to you?"  
She shook her head. She really hadn't.  
"You probably would've died! If someone can do that to a full-grown Muggle, even, just imagine what they could have done to you."  
Hermione nodded. "I suppose you're right."  
"Of course I am!" said Malfoy sarcastically. "I'm a Malfoy and Malfoys are always right."  
"Sure they are."  
They walked along the edge of the Lake in silence, and a few times Hermione thought she saw a Mermaid leap out of the cold water.  
"Draco," she said.  
"Yeah?"  
"Would you remember me if I had died that night two weeks ago?"  
Draco stopped walking, and Hermione turned to face him. He stared deep into her eyes, as if searching her. Then he smiled.  
"I wouldn't be able to forget."  
  
~  
  
A/N: K, another chapter. Hope ya'll like it!! Thanks reviewers!!! 


	11. Chapter Ten: In the Bushes

A/N: Different POV in this chapter, hope you don't mind the change. I'm just trying to make it more interesting.  
  
~  
  
10.  
  
"Harry, what on earth is going on?" Ron asked.  
They were hiding in some bushes, watching as Hermione and Malfoy walked arm in arm. Hermione looked genuinely happy for the first time all year.  
"I have no idea," replied Harry.  
"Do you think this has anything to do with how much better she seems today?" asked Neville, who was there with them.  
"It could..." said Ron.  
Harry started, "Ron, do you think they-?"  
"Of course not. It's Draco Malfoy," he said. "Hermione will have a good explanation."  
"I sure hope so," said Neville.  
  
The three watched as Hermione and Malfoy walked farther along the Lake. After a while, Malfoy stopped and Hermione turned to face him. Malfoy said something and a huge smile went across Hermione's face. She wrapped her arms around him, and embraced him in a hug. Malfoy hugged her back.  
"What is that all about?!" exclaimed Ron.  
Harry just shrugged and shook his head.  
Hermione and Malfoy released each other and linked arms again. They turned and walked back toward the school.  
  
~  
  
A/N: It's a shortie but I'm a short chapter writer so GET USED TO IT! LoL just playin guys! Hope you're still liking it!!!  
  
~raine1234 


	12. Chapter Eleven: Confrontations

A/N: Okay, I got a lot of reviews saying how short the last chap was, and don't worry it probably won't happen again! And also to Ice Butterfly I don't really know all that much about eating disorders if that's what I was talking about but anyway thanks for the input! Oh yeah and someone questioned why Hermione hugged Draco and it was supposed to be right after he said "I wouldn't be able to forget." Sorry I didn't make that clearer! Oh yes, also, a lot of people said they cried at parts of my story! Geez that was so cool to hear!! Thanks to all of you that said that!!!  
  
~  
  
11.  
  
"Hey dad  
  
I'm writing to you  
  
Not to tell you that I still hate you  
  
Just to ask you how you feel?  
  
And how this fell apart?  
  
How we fell apart?"  
  
-Good Charlotte, "Emotionless"  
  
Hermione sat alone on her bed later that day, writing to her father, whom she had not spoken to since the end of July, and it was nearing November. She didn't tell him about Draco. Instead, she told him Dumbledore was helping her instead.  
  
Dear Father,  
  
I'm sorry I haven't spoken to you in so long. I needed some time to get some things straight, and I believe Dumbledore helped me do that. I'm willing to talk to you now, correction, I need to talk to you. I need help with everything that has happened. I think talking to you would be best.  
Please owl me back and tell me whether or not you want me to come home for Christmas Break. I would love to come and see you.  
  
Your loving daughter,  
Hermione  
  
"Tell the truth, but tell it slant."  
That was from one of Emily Dickinson's. She was one of Hermione's favorite Muggle poets. Hermione folded up the letter, and was about to walk up to the Owlery when Harry, Ron, and Neville burst in.  
"Haven't I told you once before not to barge into the Girls' Dormitory?" said Hermione. "I could be naked."  
"What is going on, Hermione?" asked Ron.  
"What do you mean?" asked Hermione, surprised.  
"You and Malfoy," said Harry. "What's going on there?"  
"What about me and Malfoy?"  
"We saw you down by the Lake," said Neville.  
"You were holding hands," said Ron.  
"It looks like you two are together," said Harry.  
Hermione laughed. "I guarantee all three of you that Malfoy and I are not together. He's just helping me sort some things out, okay?"  
"You've got us to help you do that!" exclaimed Harry.  
"Why do you have to go running to Draco Malfoy?" asked Ron.  
Hermione shrugged. "I don't know... it just seems like... he understands me."  
"We understand you too, Hermione," said Neville.  
"Yeah, you can talk to us," said Harry.  
"Thanks you guys, really," said Hermione. "But don't worry about me and Malfoy. He's just helping me and that's all there is to it. You know, he's not as bad as you three think."  
Harry sighed. "All right, Hermione."  
Then, Harry, Ron, and Neville turned and left. Hermione then started to go to the Owlery.  
  
At lunch, Draco didn't like sitting by any of his brainless friends, but somehow, they all flow to where he is. Pansy sat next to him, trying to rub her leg against the inside of his. Millicent sat across from him, smirking at Pansy. Crabbe sat on the other side of Draco, and Goyle sat on one side of Millicent. Marcus Flint sat on the other side of Millicent. Draco glared at him as he sat down. Draco had to keep himself from leaping across the table and strangling the bastard.  
"Man have I got a story for you five," said Marcus.  
"What did you do this time?" asked Millicent with a sigh.  
"Guess who popped the Mudblood Golden Girl's cherry?" Marcus asked with a grin.  
Everyone dropped their silverware and gaped at him. Draco just continued to stare.  
"Potter?" asked Crabbe.  
"Weasley?" asked Millicent.  
Marcus shook his head. "No you imbeciles, try our house."  
After a couple seconds, Marcus said with a huge grin, "Me."  
The other four gasped. Draco continued to stare, and the anger was welling up inside of him.  
"Like she'd have sex with you!" said Millicent, rolling her eyes.  
"Like it was consensual!" exclaimed Marcus.  
"Oh Merlin, you raped her?!" whispered Goyle.  
Marcus just smirked and looked down at his food. In anger, Draco slammed his silverware on the table and stood up. That got the attention of the other five, and others. He pointed a finger at Marcus.  
"Don't you dare touch her again, you slimy piece of shit!" he exclaimed.  
"What the hell's the matter with you?" asked Pansy. "Sit down."  
Pansy tugged on his shirt, but he slapped her hand away.  
"If you ever touch her again," Draco said, "you better keep one eye open while you sleep because I guarantee I'll kill you."  
With that, Draco left his brainless "friends" and went down to his Common Room. 


	13. Chapter Twelve: Priorities

A/N: All right, all right, I know…I haven't updated in over a year. School killed me for a while, but it's summer again, so I'll try to finish this thing up. Please keep reading and reviewing.

12.

_From day one, I talked about getting out, but not forgetting about how all my worst fears are letting out. He said, "Why put a new address on the same old loneliness when breathing just passes the time until we just get old and die? Now talking's just a waste of breath and living's just a waste of death. And why put a new address on the same old loneliness? And this is you and me, and me and you, until we've got nothing left."_

Fall Out Boy, "Get Busy Living or Get Busy Dying"

Draco knew he shouldn't have said anything. But when Marcus said that…Merlin, he just couldn't hold back his anger. But, he knew this was going to cause a shitload of questions from them.

On his way to his common room, he stopped. He realized something. If he wasn't speaking to the people in his House, whom was he going to speak to? All he had was Hermione. Why would he go to his common room? What would he do there, besides revel in his loneliness?

Hermione was up in the Owlery for a long time after she sent the letter to her father. A feeling of finality had overcome her, and the feeling was so peaceful that she didn't want to move.

When she heard something move behind her, she turned to see Draco standing there. He smiled only slightly, and Hermione smiled back. He came and sat with her on the windowsill. His face was solemn, and he seemed to be in deep thought.

"How'd you know I'd be here?" Hermione asked him, trying to break the silence.

Draco smirked. "I had a hunch you'd take my advice. You weren't at dinner, so I just figured…" He shrugged, then he looked back out the window and the solemn look came back.

"What's wrong?"

Draco shook his head.

"You're not going to do that to me. You wouldn't let me do something like that to you."

Draco seemed to be thinking. He did this for a long while. "If you're not friends with the people who were previously your friends, and they were the only people who would accept you, then who are you left with?"

Hermione grasped his hand. "If you're talking about yourself, then that would make me very sad, because we both know that you have me."

Draco sighed. "But I won't ever really _have_ you. Do you realize that we can't ever even tell anybody that we could possibly be _friends_?"

"Why do you need anyone to know?"

"I don't _need_ people to know. It's just…I don't want to live in secrecy."

Hermione sighed and moved closer to him, and he leaned into her.

"I've thought about all of this too," Hermione said. "We both know the things we'd be in for if anyone knew. Isn't living in secrecy a better idea then not living at all?"

Draco chuckled lightly. "Of course it is."

"It's settled then, right?"

Draco smiled. "Right."

Hermione squeezed his hand tighter. "Good."

Later that night, Draco was just about to get into bed, when someone burst into his room.

"What was that show about at dinner tonight, Draco?" Marcus Flint exclaimed. "You really acted like an asshole, man."

"I'm not the one acting like the asshole, Flint," Draco said, moving closer to him. "I'm not the one who raped a girl."

Flint rolled his eyes. "You and I both know she probably wanted it. It was _Granger_, for Merlin's sake."

Anger was flaring inside Draco. "Don't you understand what you did was wrong? It could have been the dirtiest, ugliest, criminal of a Mudblood, and it still would have been wrong."

"Well you got the dirty, ugly, Mudblood part right."

Draco punched him before he realized it. Flint was hitting back in record time. Draco wasn't sure how long it went on, but it could have gone on forever if a couple of other guys hadn't torn them apart.

"I don't know what the fuck has come over you, Malfoy," Flint yelled as he was being dragged out of Draco's room, "but you better damn well get your priorities straight!"

A/N: Sorry guys, kind of boring. I'll update again soon, hopefully. R&R!

3.raine1234.


	14. Chapter Thirteen: Not Yet to the Light

A/N: Yep, here's another chapter. And I apologize in advance for spelling or grammar errors…I'm writing this at 1:30 in the morning because I'm bored and can't sleep.

13.

The next evening, Draco and Hermione were in the Astronomy Tower, working on homework. It was weird, Hermione liked spending time with Draco more than any of her friends. With Harry, Ron, and Ginny, everything she did that seemed odd made them think she was cutting again. Draco wasn't like that. He was so much more understanding than the rest of them.

Hermione looked at Draco's face, seeing the bruises that he had gotten from Flint. The thought of Draco defending her made her not be able to suppress a smile. As she was smiling, Draco looked at her, and smiled slightly.

"What?" he asked.

"I just…can't believe you got in a fight with another Slytherin," Hermione said, "and over me."

Draco just shrugged.

"You didn't have to, you know. You could have just bit your tongue through what he said and just let him leave."

Draco huffed. "You know I wouldn't have been able to do that."

Hermione put down her books and snuggled up against Draco. He wrapped an arm around her. Hermione had a chill, and Draco rubbed her arm. She rested her head on his shoulder, and he rested his head on her head.

It took all of Draco not to touch Hermione's face and kiss her. He knew that in doing that, he was signifying something that would surely ruin their lives. He loved her with all of his heart, but he knew if it was expressed, they would surely be killed.

To his surprise, it wasn't his self-control he had to worry about. In one swift movement, Hermione's head turned and her lips brushed against his. Aghast, he turned his head away. He felt Hermione's hand on his cheek and it pulled her head back to face her. She looked concerned.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

"I…I'm…Hermione, we can't-"

He was silenced by her lips on his. This time, it was less gentle and more passionate. She moved so she faced him more easily. Draco didn't want to touch her. This had already gone too far. If he touched her in any other way, he wouldn't have any control. He lost all control when he felt one hand on his chest and the other ubbing up and down his waist.

Hermione's shirt was off and Draco was being extremely gentle. Their lips seemed forever locked. They were just too sweet for her to let go of. She felt his hands moving down her waistline to her hips. Suddenly, he was tugging downwards on her shorts.

All of a sudden, images flashed through her head. Flint ripping off her clothes. His face in between her legs. Him tearing into her with that Goddamned, ugly smirk on his face that meant he had won.

Hermione ripped her lips from Draco's and scrambled out from underneath him. She covered herself with her shirt and hugged her knees to her chest, up against the wall. She buried her face in her arms, feeling tears starting to fall. She didn't want Draco to see her like this again. Not after he had seen her happy. She felt his presence move toward her again.

"Hermione..?"

"I'm so sorry, Draco," Hermione cried. "I just…I don't think…I'm not ready for this yet."

Hermione felt an arm around her shoulder again. She nestled up underneath it.

"It's okay," Draco said. "It's all right. I understand."

"I'm sorry for even starting that," Hermione said. "I shouldn't have. But I just can't forget about…" Hermione sighed.

Draco squeezed her shoulder. "It's fine, Hermione. You take all the time that you need."

A/N: sorry, stupid ending but now it's after 2 AM and I'm starting to get worn out…R&R…thanks to everyone who has reviewed.


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